Friendships: What are they really?

FRIENDSHIP...

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?

 

 

I'll give you my interpretation of the word.. It is a bond that grows stronger overtime that consists of heartache and heartbreak but also laughter and love. It is a bond that out does all other bonds and is created with time and patience and the ability to accept someone for who they are. Friendships should make you a better version of yourself...not changing you just bettering you. Friendships are carefully mended delicacies that can be easily broken if the wrong foundation is put into place. The greatest of friendships are the ones you tell to you children or grandchildren so that maybe one day they can have their own great friendships to tell their children and grandchildren. Friendships are everlasting bonds that never go away if the are nurtured the right way.

 

It is easy for people to call others their friends, but are they really your friends? Sit down and ask yourself what does the word friendship mean to you and if all the people you call friends meet your definition then you are one of the lucky ones because it so very rare that one can call many people their true friends. However, if the people you call friends do not meet your definition well...you just had an epiphany. An "ahah!" moment, and I credit you.

 

I've had friendships but their are only a few..to be exact actually their are only three people who I can say truly know me and accept me for who I am. All the others are just bystanders. And yes I understand it sounds harsh and mean to call them that but in all honesty they really are. The people we call "friends" usually turn out to be people who make an appearance, stick around for a bit and then disappear and then you never hear from them again...so what else are we supposed to call them if we can't call them friends...?

 

Friendships are tricky, and yes we can have friends...people who have always been around and continue to be. There are levels to friendships and we all classify each level in our own ways depending on what we want from each one. For me... I have three levels:

 

1. Acquaintances:  the people who make an appearance in my life but don't make a lasting impression and are only their to pass my time.

2. Friends: people who I talk to on a regular basis and who I get along with but never really go into detail about personal lives or ever hang out outside of an event, class, or work.

3.Best friends: the people who I have gotten close to and have opened up and who I look to for advice, comfort and fun times.

 

Friendships can also come and go but its the ones that last that are the ones that were meant to be.

 

My advice: Live you life and meet new people...maybe one day you'll telling your grandkids about them.

 

Sincerely,

Nina <3

 

 



Be Better and Surrender

Attraction. Its a word that is so simple and is used everyday by everyone. In life, we normally use the word attraction when we are talking about the opposite sex (or same sex). We use it to describe a feeling we get in our stomachs when we like someone or when we are captured by someone. It isn't a hard thing to feel. And most of the time we can't control it. It is just something that we all feel towards someone else no matter who they are.

Recently, I've come face to face with attraction with someone I've known for quite a few years now and although we barely talk or hang out there's always an instance when we do talk and hang out that that attraction comes racing back to me and it is so very hard to deny and push away. This person I can talk to about everything and anything and not feel judged because they feel just as comfortable talking to me about everything and anything as well. That makes it easier, but also harder at the same time because that just makes the attraction stronger.

But here's the funny thing about attraction...you never know if the other person feels it too and that part will always keep you guessing and a little bit secure. It is difficult to know that you have an attraction for someone but don't know if they have it back. You will never know, unless either you or the other person says so. And until that happens your left clueless which ultimately is not the greatest place to be when it comes to relationships. Because in relationships as humans we like to know everything and have it all right there on the table with nothing to hide so that we don't get hurt. Unfortunately that is never the case and as humans we get hurt its just inevitable.

Have you ever encountered something like this? Tell me your story.

At the same time recently, I've encountered that I've been feeling guilt. And normally I don't regret anything because I make my own decisions and even if other don't approve or agree with me my decisions are my own and for my well being not theirs.

...but yet here I am stating that I feel guilty over one of my decisions and as I've come to realize I handle that guilt by baring it deep with in me and not telling anyone and hoping it will go away. Sad part is...it doesn't. And not I just feel worse. I feel guilty because I hurt someone un-necessarily and its taken me this long to realize that I could've handled the situation way better, but I didn't and I feel dumb for not realizing sooner.

Let me tell you this, if you ever feel guilty about anything you have done never ever apologize for what you've done. Only learn to accept the guilt and use it to make you a better person in the future so that you never regret or feel guilty for the same thing again.

That's what I will be doing and have been doing, and I can honestly say that I have been feeling better about the situation and myself.

My Advice: Don't deny the inevitable of falling to the feelings of attraction. Don't ever feel the need to apologize for your actions, just accept them.

Sincerely,
Nina <3

My Final Words

What is today?
Today is the day that I've realized I was utterly and completely in love with you.
But you dwell on my past mistakes. Blaming me for things that I only regret.
I spend countless hours crying over you.
But when?
When will you forgive me.
Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Next year. Never?
You look at me like I'm a disease.
Like I am not that same girl you were once also in love with.
But yet here I stand.
Face glistening with falling tears. Staring you dead in the eye.
Do I look different? Do I act different?
Those things that I have done in the past are my un- regrettable mistakes.
My horrible memories that I can not erase.
My hearts dwells on how much I have hurt you and only wishes that I could remove that pain the I cause you.
That searing arrow that I have plunged into your heart breaking it; over and over again.
It has been months since I have looked at you like this.
Do you not see that in my eyes shows complete compassion and utter apologies to you.
You are the boy that could make me smile in my worst of days.
The boy who held me tight and dealt with me during my darkest hours.
Through friendships broken.
Through separation.
Through every up and down the world threw at us.
We've been through it all.
And now I cant imagine living through the rest that will be thrown at me;
to knock me off my feet and make me feel like my world is at an end.
But see I have no recollection of your presence in my life as of this second, of this minute, of this hour.
My finger has pressed that delete button on my keyboard and has erased your folder from my files.
You are forever gone.
Every letter. Every message. Every comment. Every text. Every contact connection.
Gone.
Like my heart is. When you took it.
But you have harshly returned it.
And now I am not sure what to do with it.
But know this.
That barrier of not knowing what to do will be destroyed.
No matter how long it takes.
Because unlike you I have people who will lift me back up onto my two feet that were once steady on ground.
I have people who will always catch me when I fall; no matter if it is an inch or a mile.
Those files remain.
But yours; yours are forever, mentally, and physically DELETED from my life.
Because my life, my life is my drawing board where I map out my future every single day of my new better life without you.
So these are my final words to you:

Goodbye.