My Final Words

What is today?
Today is the day that I've realized I was utterly and completely in love with you.
But you dwell on my past mistakes. Blaming me for things that I only regret.
I spend countless hours crying over you.
But when?
When will you forgive me.
Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Next year. Never?
You look at me like I'm a disease.
Like I am not that same girl you were once also in love with.
But yet here I stand.
Face glistening with falling tears. Staring you dead in the eye.
Do I look different? Do I act different?
Those things that I have done in the past are my un- regrettable mistakes.
My horrible memories that I can not erase.
My hearts dwells on how much I have hurt you and only wishes that I could remove that pain the I cause you.
That searing arrow that I have plunged into your heart breaking it; over and over again.
It has been months since I have looked at you like this.
Do you not see that in my eyes shows complete compassion and utter apologies to you.
You are the boy that could make me smile in my worst of days.
The boy who held me tight and dealt with me during my darkest hours.
Through friendships broken.
Through separation.
Through every up and down the world threw at us.
We've been through it all.
And now I cant imagine living through the rest that will be thrown at me;
to knock me off my feet and make me feel like my world is at an end.
But see I have no recollection of your presence in my life as of this second, of this minute, of this hour.
My finger has pressed that delete button on my keyboard and has erased your folder from my files.
You are forever gone.
Every letter. Every message. Every comment. Every text. Every contact connection.
Gone.
Like my heart is. When you took it.
But you have harshly returned it.
And now I am not sure what to do with it.
But know this.
That barrier of not knowing what to do will be destroyed.
No matter how long it takes.
Because unlike you I have people who will lift me back up onto my two feet that were once steady on ground.
I have people who will always catch me when I fall; no matter if it is an inch or a mile.
Those files remain.
But yours; yours are forever, mentally, and physically DELETED from my life.
Because my life, my life is my drawing board where I map out my future every single day of my new better life without you.
So these are my final words to you:

Goodbye.